Classics v Serbia
Denny Ross
1st. Feb 2015

Conditions: 6 degrees, no wind, rain on-off with a soft playing surface

Players on duty:Judd Boxtart, Danny Jensen, Dave Moore, Pat Rohla, Alan Massender, Gordie Macklin, Gene Crowley, Daryl Lawrie, Alfie Deglan, Chris Arcari, Lorenzo Arcari, Randy Hosler, Gino Nonni, Robbie Keam, Pat O'Krane, Willie Dixon.

To Serb and Protect a Win...
The Classics got off to a great start with a goal in the second minute. It came from a left wing move from Gordie Macklin who picked out Willie Dixon at the far post; Dixon demonstrated a text-book downward header back across the keeper and into the net for the perfect fillip for the team. Just four minutes later it was Dixon again who latched onto a left-wing centre from Alan Massender, started by Alfie Deglan, and bundled the ball home via his thigh. In the 17th minute the ball was laid off to Deglan who unleashed a rasping daisy-cutter which looked destined for the bottom left corner of the net. It brought an inspired save from the visiting keeper who dived full length to tip the ball away for a corner. Serbia tightened up their defence although the home side had several chances to burst the net but the play held out at 2-0 for the half time break.

The second half began with the teams evenly match. Leading own-goal legend Dave Moore decided that it was time to test the mettle of rookie keeper Jethroe who had, up to that time, been sitting on his deck chair, wearing sunglasses, reading a comic and drinking a pina colada. He passed the test with flying colours as he had to dive full stretch to his left to palm the ball way and thus deprive Moore of increasing his scoring record. Next time it will be with more power! A rare shut-out looked a distinct possibilty at that time. A great right wing corner from Randy Hosler in the 68th minute was perfectly met by the head Robbie Keam but the opposing keeper again brought about a good reaction save to push the ball over the bar for a corner - he got up well for a player with such short stature.

It was 3-0 in the 72nd minute after a ball from the right was headed downwards by Massender. Keam was involved in the move as he had also dived in but he somehow got tangled up with the keeper and, although it looked like Keam had scored, he later admitted that he did not touch the ball so the goal was rightfully awarded to the 'Black Adder.' The fourth goal came in the 83rd minute when a right wing corner from Pat Rohla was placed to the back post wher Daryl Lawrie was on hand to head home another goal to savour - it was Lawrie's eighth goal in five consecutive games. Danny Jensen had a minor altercation with one of the giant Serbia players where there was a clashing of ribs and wobbly knees mentioned, but in reality one of the Gods was watching over him like the epic 'clashing rocks' scene in Jason and the Argonauts.

With five minutes remaining the Classics defence decided to put on a catalogue of errors - it's a Shakespearean play for the uneducated. It came from a right-wing corner from Serbia which was initially headed out with a diving clearance from Gene Crowley who was guarding the near post. The clearance hit one of the Serbia forwards and it bounced back to Crowley, now spread-eagled on the floor, and bounced off again for the forward to plant the ball home. It is better described by one of the Classics players, who wishes to remain anonymous. He recalled, "I was chuckling to myself (pronounced 'meself'') this morning about the situation with Jethro and Gene on the Serbs' goal. It sort of looked like something one might see in the Kama Sutra, the famous Indian novel on sexual positions. Perhaps instead of the 'downward dog' position it could in future be referred to as the 'downward Gene' position. It's going to be really difficult to get guys to mark the near post on subsequent corner kicks when Jethro is in the goals." I suppose it's all in the genes!

Macklin centred the ball with just two minutes remaining and a Serbia defender whacked the ball to knock it clear. Instead of going clear the ball with hit as a sliced shot and it whizzed high into the air, bounced in front of the Serbia keeper, and spun over his head and into the net to make a final score of 5-1. Moore was observed writing notes and drawing sketches of the incident for future reference. Dixon was the closest player to the ball on the own goal incident and, although he had missed three previous chances, decided to let the ball trickle home as he couldn't afford to score a hat-trick. All-in-all it was a satisfying win against a team that always has an army of players when they are playing at home but just manages a couple of substitutes on their travels.

Final Score: Classics 5 Serbia 1 (2-0)

MWG: W. Dixon
Crap Award: A. Deglan (to be carried over)