Surrey Classics v Delta Stingers
Noel Booth Park (H)
11th. March 2012

Conditions: Weather cool but field good

Players: Dean Herbert, Randy Hosler, Doug Rosenlund, Rick Geary, Larry Thorlakson, Alan Massender, Alfie Delgan, Chris Arcari, Mike Stuart, Gordie Macklin, Patricia "White Shoes" Rohla, Warren Crowley, Jim Eden, Fisher Crockett, Gene Crowley, Rob Keam

Food: Cabbage Rolls (prepared by Larry Thorlakson's sister-in-law), rotini pasta salad (prepared by Mike Stuart's wife), with garlic bread.

White Soccer Boots Make Classics Debut (match report by Chris Arcari) ..........
The Classics took on a opponent they haven't seen since a 3-1 loss at Delview Park on November 25, 2007. Given the time lapse between these two meetings, it would be a stretch to say there was an intense rivalry between the two clubs, but an early clash between an ailing Randy Hosler (playing on a bum knee) and the largest of the Stingers brought back memories of Dave Moore and his infamous 'choke a c---k' manoveur against Ben United a few years back. Hosler, having taken a elbow, quickly responded with a Moore-like imitation. However, it didn't quite work out exactly like Moore's retaliation. Hosler commented the culprit's neck was several chins thick and his belly, while not in the league of an un-named Classics player currently vacationing in Costa Rica, was nonetheless ample. The result, Hosler had difficulty getting close enough to reach the neck which was, in itself, difficult to wrap his fingers around. Both players were sent off for five minutes to cool down. It remains a mystery whether or not the two players were given yellow cards since the referee was the ever uncommunicative Peter Thomas.

The Classics took the lead on a delightful piece of football. Gordie Macklin spotting Alan Massender making a late run (or was he simply slow?), delivering a precise pass, Massender expertly controlling the ball to his right foot, and placing a perfect shot to the top right hand corner. You could spend a lot of time watching footy on tv and not see a better goal - unless, of course, you were watching Serie A from Italy. Mike Stuart scored the Classics second goal when he pounced onto a loose ball in the box and buried it. Stuart, who has recently returned to the Classics after suffering an early season injury seems to have found his form and has now scored in two of the last three games. He gives coach Jim Eden a few more options with respect to the starting lineup and substitutions. Half-time: Classics 2 Stingers 0.

Stuart was again 'Johnny on the spot' when the Stingers defense, whose style of play included their defenders perhaps hanging onto the ball a little too long, turned the ball over once again. Stuart's shot was strong and well-placed, giving the Classics a commanding 3-0 lead. Warren Crowley was also provided with a similar opportunity by the Stingers defenders. Finding himself all alone about 10 yards from the goal line, Crowley delivered a Deglan-like/Rohla-like shot well over the bar. While the game was still not completed, the engravers went to work and began including Crowley's name on the Crap Award.

The final goal of the game, another Classics tally, resulted from a Dean Herbert punt from goal. Herbert, filling in for the vacationing Garry Hackel, sent a thunderous punt downfield. The Stingers defender was unable to handle the booming punt, simply deflecting it onto the path of the ever present Gordie Macklin. Macklin, took the ball, made a run, looked up, saw the goalie had left the better part of his right side of the net open, and calmly stroked the ball into the net.

The final score was indicative of the match, with the Classics certainly having the better of the play and scoring chances. Several Classics had strong games inspite of their injuries, while some had injuries that seemed to slow them down somewhat. In particular, Pat Rohla who showed up just before game time, gingerly making the trek from the parking lot to the field while carrying a pair of new soccer boots. Having misplaced his boots the previous week, he was forced to don a white pair of boots he claims were a 'demo' pair given to him by the Adidas rep. Nobody could remember a previous occasion when a Classics player wore white soccer boots. Actually, nobody could understand why anyone would want to wear white soccer boots. The boots were perhaps more suitable for the Lingerie Football League. Boots are like a hockey player's skates, time is required to break them in. Clearly, Rohla had not had the required time and his touches went begging for most the game. Afterwards, Rohla was claiming it was not the boots but that his sore lower back was causing him real discomfort and preventing him from performing in his usual manner. Truth be told, it is medically proven that lower back pain is often associated with menstrual cramping, so it may very well be he was suffering.

Final Score: Classics 4 Pioneers 0 (2-0)

GK: Dean Herbert
MWG: Alan Massender
Yellow card: Randy Hoster
Crap Award: Presented by Larry Thorlakson to . . . Alfie Deglan. In Larry's mind (let's not go there!) while Warren Crowley's 'all alone in front of the goal sky-rocket over the bar shot' was the single most worthy gaffe, the sheer volume of Alfie Deglan's misses deserved the Crap Award recognition.

Please Note: Pat Rohla will be checking into the availability of our home field for next Sunday, letting me know, I'll let Jimmy know, he'll contact Delta United, Jimmy will let me know if they want to play, and then I'll send out an email about next Sunday's game. Nothing is on for this Wednesday due to spring break.