Normal service is resumed........
The team were greeted with a rousing pre-match talk from coach Lorenzo Arcari who brought into effect the second rule of his former coach. The first rule is not appropriate to be mentioned on this family orientated match report. The second rule is, "Any player who shoots over the bar twice will be yanked off" (sounds a bit like the first rule too). Chuck McGill started to walk off the field as he misheard the command and thought he had said, "go to the bar!" The match kicked off eight minutes late but it didn't take the Classics long to get into their stride. A fourth minute cross from Gordie Macklin was met by Gene Crowley who headed the ball over the advancing keeper into the top left corner to give the Classics an early lead. Minutes later Pat O'Krane put Macklin through but his effort was wide (purposely as he didn't want to shoot over). Brian Griffiths made a dashing run in the 10th minute and cut inside to unleash a shot but it was to the left of the keeper (not over). Just after the quarter-hour mark it was 2-0 for the away team after O'Krane released Alan Massender who confidently drilled the ball into the bottom right of the net (and not over). Three minutes from the half time whistle Dave Moore threaded a nice ball through to Griffiths who knocked the ball inside to David Breen on the edge of the six-yard box. Breen cleverly chipped the ball over the advancing keeper and the ball rolled, almost apologetically, over the line for a 3-0 half time lead.
The most memorable goal came early into the second half. It was the most memorable because nobody remembers who scored it! After reading four Sherlock Holmes books and days of research it was finally determined that O'Krane scored the goal. When reminded he commented, "Oh yes, it was a shot by , not sure, the goalie made a save to his left bottom corner. I followed up on the rebound pulled away from his reach and chipped it over him." For this he will be credited with the goal as no-one could make up such a story! There was no dispute about O'Krane's second goal though. It came after a cunningly deceptive dummy from Macklin which released O'Krane to chip the ball to the left of the keeper for the fifth goal. In a commonly recurring ploy, the coach for the day pulled himself off the field so that his wallet would not take a hammering. It could be that a new ruling needs to be introduced for the team regarding players who achieve a brace. Moore could have been on the scoresheet too after he ventured forward for a corner kick. Macklin placed the perfect corner onto Moore's noggin' but he misjudged it completely and the chance was gone. The corner deserved a better finish. Another chance fell to Moore when he unleashed a goalbound shot which was comically headed clear by Daryl Lawrie. Let's be honest, a goal for Moore is about as rare as rocking horse droppings these days and he had two chances! McGill found himself back among the goals again as he completed the scoring for the Classics with a well taken goal near the end of the game after Willie Dixon had laid on the ball for his strike. It was described as precision but there is to be no mention of the four goals that he missed. With minutes remaining Moore was replaced by Breen and the opposition pounced on the weakness immediately to score a consolation goal which angered the Classics defence, especially Jason Clegg who was hoping to keep his shut out.
MWG: Alan Massender
Crap Award: Alan Massender