Tri as they may ......................................
This game kicked off with United just having 11 players and no substitutes. In contrast the Classics had an overabundance of players, so much so that the sideline resembled a line up at Future Shop for the Boxing Day sales. It was especially satisfactory to welcome back Gordie Macklin back into the starting line up after a long absence through injury. The Classics got off to a tremendous start with a goal in the first two minutes. Danny Jensen passed the ball wide to Dave Moore who slipped the ball through the middle to Warren Crowley who centred the ball to a waiting Jimmy Butler who coolly toe punted the ball home for the opener. In the ninth minute it was 2-0 to the home side after a Larry Thorlakson run down the right wing. The Axe swung over a delightful cross to the foot of W. Crowley who nonchelantly slipped the ball home. It was certainly one way traffic with the visitors doing their best to stem the tide. United launched their first attack after 25 minutes which resulted in a shot which was heading just inside the right hand post but Dean Herbert was alert enough to push the ball away for a corner. On the half hour a right wing corner from full back Robbie Keam was gratefully headed home by Alan Massender, helped on it's way by a despairing dive from a United defender. It was the third goal to be assisted from a full back (about time they got some praise) and the Classics went in 3-0 to the good.
The second half began much the same as the first half with the Classics on attack and Jensen was unlucky in the fourth minute of the half. He could only watch in anguish as his long range snap shot hit the side netting. In the 53rd minute a right wing attack by Randy Hosler culminated in a centre which W. Crowley stooped down to head home. Hosler was playing full back at the time - the fourth goal from a full back move! It was just after this particular moment in time that Chris Arcari decided to Quote: "Pull himself off!" United mounted another rare attack and with the Classics defence half asleep they managed to pull one back and spoil Herbert's shut out. Back onto attack went the homesters and Massender got his second goal with another header (taked right off Keam's head apparently) to make it 5-1. The cross probably came from a full back!
In the 80th minute a 35 yard strike from Hostler, one of many which seemed to emanate from the inspiration that his new shirt gave him, rocketed goalwards. The ball entered the middle of the net with some velocity. An after match discussion arose which was instigated by guest player Pat O'Krane. The debutant insisted that the ball was going wide and he chested the missile back on target to elude the visiting goalkeeper, who incidentally went haywire the minute after the ball had entered the net. No-one knew why - it was if someone had handled the ball enroute. After the 'dubious goals' panel had deliberated it was decided to award the goal to O'Krane (sorry Randy - the editor didn't see any deflection). Five minutes from time another centre from Hosler was met by Butler who headed the ball directly at the keeper who just had to make a routine save. With three minutes remaining a Lorenzo Arcari corner was taken short to Jensen who pumped the ball into the box. O'Krane jumped to head the ball and should have buried the ball into the net but it was headed well wide. Hosler continued with his 'shoot on sight' policy and his constant barrage was reminiscent of a fairground shooting gallery. In fact he had more shots than a drunkard at a wedding with an open bar!
Final Score: Classics 6 Tri-City United 1 (3-0)
MWG: W. Crowley
Crap award: Chris Arcari for literary services rendered