Classics v Delta Stingers
James Hill
3rd. Feb. 2019

Conditions: Freezing cold, blowing snow/drizzel but a surprisingly playable pitch

Players on duty: Lorenzo Arcari, Mike Deeley, Jeff Dickson, Willie Dixon, Brian Griffiths, Randy Hosler, Daryl Lawrie, Gordie Macklin, Alan Massender, Dave Moore, Pat O’Krane, Steve Palmer, Jerry Szakun.
Coaches on duty: Gordie Macklin & Lorenzo Arcari

Griffiths bows out with a win...
It was a freezing cold day and not one for softies. Delta Stingers had travelled to James Hill Park but had not expected such severe weather. Prior to the game commencing, they suggested the idea of playing 35 minute halves due to the severe inclemency so the Classics agreed to accept the unusual request of reducing the game time. The cold couldn't be over-emphasised enough and even one of the supporters, Nanook of the North, went home before half time, to warm up. Most of the players looked like sissies in their triple shirts, toques and gloves – the real men wore no gloves!

The Classics were on top of their game with every member of the team giving their all – half of it was self preservation as players had to keep moving to avoid turning into blocks of ice. The football was flowing with a terrific tempo and the midfield of Alan Massender, Pat O'Krane, Willie Dixon and Jeff Dickson controlled the play. In front of stand in keeper Lorenzo Arcari was Brian Griffiths, Randy Hosler, Dave Moore and Jerry Szakun. Daryl Lawrie and Mike Deeley up front kept the Stingers defenders on their toes. A break-through came after about 15 minutes when the visiting keeper got snow-blindness and wandered almost to the half way line repeating, “Captain Scott, where are you?” Luckily, around this time, the ball fell to O'Krane who siezed the opportunity to float the ball high over the advancing keeper with a powerful shot which ended up nestled perfectly in the centre of the unguarded net. It was a delightful goal and was almost Beckhamesque in execution – the goal would have graced any stadium in the world.

Minutes later, the Stingers wasted a golden opportunity to get back in the game when Hosler inexplicably handled the ball on the edge of the penalty box. The referee rightly pointed to the penalty spot amid the squeals of, “Oh no! Why me? It's not fair. I'm cold and want to go home.” emanating from L. Arcari's mouth. However, he needn't have worried as the penaly taker put the ball wide of the left post by a good foot. After match discussions about the incident concluded that Hosler was that bundled up that he didn't realise that he was stood there looking like Captain Morgan. Randy was actually wearing his wife's nylons and suspender belt, padded bra, thermal underpants, long johns, toque, thermal socks and omni-heat football boots, thermo gloves, neck-warmer, scalf, football snood, pull-over hoodie, long-sleeved sweatshirt, Classics jacket, Himalayan snow suit and he also had 17 hot-water bottles tied round his body. To make doubly sure he was also wearing his Seahawks willy warmer... so it was inevitable that some part of his attire caught the ball as he couldn't get his arm out of the way fast enough. His colleagues thought he was doing the Peter Crouch!

Back to the game. Another great goal came before the half time whistle, again from O'Krane. This time the ball was fed to him via Dixon and Lawrie before he cleverly controlled the ball with his knee and volleyed home another powerful shot which game the Classics a deserved half time lead of 2-0.

The second half began with a few unusual positional substitutions. Palmer and O'Krane (“Sod that, I'm not getting a hat trick!”) occupying the wide full back slots leaving Griffiths pulling his hair out trying to control his 'wanderers.' In actual effect, both players excelled in the position and had great games. However, one momentary lapse on the left side of defence resulted in a centre-cum-shot which totally deceived L. Arcari as it sneaked home, high on his near post. He had earlier pushed a long range effort over the bar and later deflected a shot at him away for a corner. Credit goes to all the defenders as those three efforts were the only shots on goal mustered from the opposition for the whole of the game.

A huge bang was heard midway through the second half as a tree, in the adjacent wooded area at the southern end of the field, was broken in half by the severity of the wind. Luckily, it did not fall to the ground but was held up in the air by the proximity of other trees. Another chance was to fall to the Classics before the relief of the final whistle as, with time running out, Szakun was put through to run at the keeper. He finished the move with a goal at the second attempt but the referee pulled play back for a heavily disputed off-side decision. The goal should have stood.

After game festivities included group hugs around Daryl's gas heater with no mentions of threesomes; almost hot chilli (well the spices were) which warmed the cockles, fully appreciated by the frosted players and courtesy of David Breen and Steve Palmer; and Daryls apple flavoured rum shots which warmed the muscles! An au revoir was in also order as this was the last game of the season for Brian Griffiths who takes off on an adventure tour of the USA and Caribbean islands so the club wish him well in his travels and look forward to welcoming him back next season. His dominancy and tenacity will be sorely missed in the coming months. Have a good one Brian.


Final Score: Classics 2 Delta Stingers 1 (2-0)

Stats
GK: Lorenzo Arcari
Penalty Conceded: Randy Hosler
MWG: Pat O'Krane
Crap Award: Brian Griffiths