Classics v Fort United
James Hill
4th. Feb. 2018

Conditions: Raining but warm at 8 degrees

Players on duty: Jason Clegg, Jeff Dickson, Jimmy Butler, Dave Moore, Pat Rohla, Alan Massender, Larry Thorlakson, Gordie Macklin, Gene Crowley, Daryl Lawrie, Chuck McGill, Lorenzo Arcari, Alfie Deglan, Pat O'Krane, Willie Dixon.
Coaches on duty: Jimmy Butler & Jason Clegg.

A tale of two different halves........
The Classics began at a frenetic pace and had the ball in the net within five minutes. It came after a poor clearance from the visiting keeper who looped the ball out to Gordie Macklin who, from over 20 yards, spotted the empty net and chipped the ball over the keeper for the opener. Two minutes later an intelligent ball from Jason Clegg began a right wing move which resulted in Pat O'Krane centring the ball to the feet of Daryl Lawrie who wasted no time in hammereing the ball into the roof of the net. With Lorenzo Arcari shackled in the centre half spot there was no chance of him going on one of his regular scintilating runs. Jimmy Butler was next to try his luck but his effort sailed just over the bar. It was 3-0 within ten minutes as Butler had the simple task of placing the ball into the empty net after the keeper had fallen over after another bad kick out. The Classics were in total command and goal number four came on the quarter hour mark. Willie Dixon started a left wing break who played the ball to Macklin; the move continued to Butler who sent a rocket into the roof of the net. Jeff Dickson was unlucky in the 20th after he watched his effort get tipped onto the right post by the keeper, only for it to bounce back into play. Butler completed his hat-trick in the 25th minute when he placed the ball to the left of the keeper and out of his reach. Within minutes Lawrie got his second goal. At this juncture the referee, Peter Thomas, made the decision to blow the half time whistle with the clock on 30 minutes. It was a mercy call and was certainly justified.

As the time of the first half was reduced the following commentary is a minute by minute play - well it doesn't seem right saying the 31st minute when it's in the second half. New commentator takes over: 10:38 Pat Rohla declared that Alan Massender get the 'crap' award 'just for the last move.' 10:41 Dave Moore made a fantastic tackle in the back line; 10:42 Moore was a stalwart against Albert Lum; 10:43 Great ball from Macklin through to Alfie Deglan but unfortunately the legs weren't cutting it; Great ball from O'Krane and Lawrie was there to knock the rebound home - this boy's on fire as this completes his second consecutive hat-trick. The commentator stated, "That's three for Daryl, he's buying and he's going to get pulled;" 10:45 Macklin hit it with the outside of the foot to pass it down the line but it was to no avail; Tony Short doesn't know how to order a drink at McDonalds so he can't do the timing as he is useless; Another new commentator takes over: Chuck was caught offside but only part of him; That was O'Krane's fault again, that's two in a row; In the interest of fair play Deglan passed to ball direct to the opposition but he got it back; Massender lost the ball on a set free kick and it wasn't even in play; Rohla began showboating and it was a little bit too fancy; "A fantastic goal and that's the first time in forty years I've seen Paddy get a proper cross in;" 11:07 Dickson to Rohla to Butler who scored his fourth goal of the game; O'Krane seems to be saving his energy for his next game. The referee allowed play of 50 minutes in the second half. All very unusual and a first.

Final Score: Classics 8 Fort United 0 (6-0)

MWG: Gordie Macklin
Hat Tricks: Daryl Lawrie & Jimmy Butler (4)
Crap Award: Alan Massender (First he was late; he stepped on the field as a sub and they blew the half time whistle; and most importantly for his imitation of Raggedy Ann)